With any luck, your child will not remember the holiday and you will not actually have to help build a leprechaun trap.
Watch your kid’s eyes light up. Sigh, and make a mental note to cancel your cable subscription and from now on only let your child play with kids from screen-free households.
Get 1 million results recommending you construct what amounts to a complex Rube Goldberg machine from materials that must be special ordered and will arrive in 4–6 months. Print out a picture of the simplest-looking trap and hand it to your child. Watch as everything around you…
Podcasts, books, and other resources to help you navigate traditional book publishing
In an attempt to prep for the launch of my upcoming book, I’ve been doing research about book launches and marketing. There is a ton of stuff out there, so I thought it could be helpful to outline some resources for other writers.
I started looking into a lot of these sources once I had an offer for my book, but I think I would have benefitted from exploring a lot of them when I was earlier in the process, so even if you are just at the…
My 2020 submitting and writing stats
[I am imagining the title being sung to the tunes of The Octonaut’s “Creature Report!” but if you have somehow not been watching this television show for children, I guess that won’t make sense.]
It’s that time of year again when I look back at my writing hits and misses for the year. I’ve been doing these roundups the past few years, and you can find last year’s report here. …
Are you practicing social distancing by working from home or avoiding work-related meetings, handshakes, and people? If so, you’re probably sending a lot of emails. Sure the standard “Thanks for your time” and “Best regards” sign-offs probably still work, but here are some more entertaining ideas:
Welcome to Toddler Restaurant, where everything is designed with our most discriminating young guests in mind. No more uncomfortable seating arrangements or worries about other patrons staring at you while you blend a clump of mashed potatoes into your hair.
Here at Toddler Restaurant, we strive to meet your very specific and constantly evolving needs.
Guests are free to wear a range of attire from superhero costumes to pajamas or that empty box you found in the recycling. Shirts and pants are always optional.
We have a variety of eclectic options to choose from. Our Over and Under Room allows…
I am pretty obsessed with reading people’s stories of how they got their literary agents. I liked reading them before I got my agent and now that I have one, I am still pretty interested in what seems like a semi-mysterious process in a writer’s life.
I’ve heard stories of writers being contacted by agents after viral pieces, and these stories are very cool, but alas, are not something that happened to me. Trying to write something that will go viral and catch the attention of agents is not necessarily the best plan because a) turns out you can not…
For the past few years, I’ve been doing a year-end writing round-up/goal setting post, and it’s time for the 2019 edition. You can find the 2018 version here.
So first up — submission totals. I write humor, travel, and an assortment of random other things. Some things (like humor and essays) are typically submitted as full pieces. Other things (articles and travel pieces) are typically pitches. So this reflects a combination of the two. This year’s numbers:
Dear Stranger Who I Have Entrusted With Watching Baby Yoda:
Thank you for agreeing to watch the young one. As you can see, he is an exceptionally charming child, but you must not let those big brown eyes talk you into letting him get away with everything.
First, you should know that Baby Yoda is a bit of a challenging eater. I know that Happiest Baby in the Galaxy recommends children eat pureed foods at this age, but he mostly prefers raw, live frogs. …